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Lost yourself in Motherhood?

 
 
It is quiet, raining outside while my little one is sleeping and here, I am recollecting my thoughts “Have I lost myself in motherhood?”. These small moments when things are still, and everything is just like how you want comes rarely on which we mothers can depend upon. “Do I have a life?”, this question pesters me all the time. I knew my life will change after I become a mother, but to what extend? There is hardly anytime for me to do something meaningful.
Now that the laundry is over, let me just clean the kitchen. Oh!! It’s time for Ahaan’s milk. What should I make for lunch today? Its time for me to drop him school. How should I engage him properly? How should I channelize his energy? Have I spent enough time with him this week? What else I can teach my kid? It’s time for me to take him to park. These are the nonstop parade of emotions and question that occupy my mind throughout the day.
I used to hear other women making a fuss about loosing their identity to motherhood when I was pregnant. I used to wonder “Is this going to be true?”. After I became a mother, I felt I am trapped in a stay at home mom identity crises.
I used to go out for movies
I used to eat out more often
I had a social life
I used to go for parties
But when I became a mother, somethings got clear that I must let go some of my habits that I used to enjoy. Eating less outside, I travel less. I am not in track of any of the latest movies, but I know every cartoon dialogue by heart. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being a mother. I love being one but its just a feeling of transition from whom I used to be and what I am today. It is like a silent war.
Do all mothers remember those days, when you used to get up when you want? Cook if u want to eat or just order. Just sleep when you want to. In short, you have a control over your life.
We mothers still have control on our things but now have different perspective on our things. We now consider our children needs above ours. And that’s what motherhood is all about. Our lives revolve around them.
So, you might be wondering what can you do to regain yourself?
It is very important for us to reconnect with our identity apart from being a mother.
1. Spare some time for yourself: Select a day and time for yourself and create a daily routine for sparing some time. In that spare time, you can either read the book or follow your hobby.
2. Listen to your inner soul: Ask yourself, what makes you happy? Do whatever that makes you happy. Research shows that the things that make you happy, you try to take some time all by yourself.
3. Stop comparing: The main problem arise when we compare our lives with others and sometimes with our previous carefree self. We mothers must understand that things can’t be same all the time. If we stop comparing, then we will have a feeling of contentment.
4. Look after yourself: Remember when you were young, you used to dress up all the time. Follow this rule. Take care of yourself no matter if you are a mother. Put your baby or a toddler to a bed and take a shower. If you like your hairs, do a nice hairstyle. If you like dressing up, dress up the way you like. Follow your passion and don’t neglect things that brings your identity with pride ahead.
You must remember; you will never have a life like before you had a baby. So rather than feeling depressing about it and think of changing it. We must focus of how to live this life happily without complaining. If we start living happily, soon we will be able to regain our lost identity. It is just the phase of time, which will eventually go away.
Do you also feel the same? Are you also lost amidst motherhood? If yes, share your stories and how have you emerged as a warrior?
Happy Parenting !!
Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash

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